It’s weird how my mind works sometimes. I may be actively thinking about something else but there’s always something going on in the background. It’s like my active thoughts stand so large while those thoughts in the background occupy a much smaller space. Ironic then that the stuff in the background casts a much larger shadow.
I was driving around one morning and started thinking about the nicknames I had given cats, dogs, cows and people through my life. I give most nicknames because I like the person/cat/dog/cow and the nickname I bestow usually describes how I view them or feel about them. I started thinking about the human and animal family I had lost in the last few years.
I have a theory about those I miss. It’s actually more of a rationalization to help me when I miss someone very badly. I always consider that they view very the same sun, moon or maybe even the same large thunderhead as I do. This shared view gives us common ground. I mean, I often spend time with people who live far away more often than those who are close geographically. The need to see someone is more important than these ease of access to them created by geographical location. Just because you are close to someone doesn’t mean you will be close to someone.
Lisa and I have a friend who will soon marry and leave this area. I think we will miss her but we will probably see her as often as we did before she left the area. I think you never lose a good friend although you maybe lose out on shared experiences. You just have to rely on the love and memories to continue to give you the common ground to base your relationship.
So that brings me back to those who have passed and how do the living keep moving along through life. The hard fact is we are such a busy culture that we don’t see each other that often and much of our relationship with anyone exists in our mind. The things we think about a loved one are the truth but they are either memories re-lived or just pleasant musings of characteristics that make us cherish that person. I see people on a regular basis who I have no interest in and the fact that they occupy a portion of my time does not mean I cherish them. So if time together is not always the driving force of love then maybe those who have passed can still occupy as large a part in our lives as they did when they were living.
My final thought goes back to the shared experience of viewing the same things-just from different locations. If a loved one lives miles away but still views the same moon as I do isn’t it possible that those in Heaven can view the same things I can-only from a different perspective. If shared experiences are the basis of friendship or love then doesn’t this shared experience still not only sustain my relationship but deepen it? Maybe, but I still miss them.
2 thoughts on “I Still Miss Them”
Excellent post Grant. You’ve captured thoughts and put into words what most of us try to understand and relate. Just because we see someone more than another their quantity of time doesn’t equate to any level of love. Some people make us happy when they arrive. Some people make us happy when we leave…..There are many I love and appreciate and seldom ever see or have seen….
Thanks, Doug-it’s good to hear from you.